Welcome to Dr. Armand Rossi’s email newsletter:

  Kid’s Unlimited        

 

April 15, 2004

Kid’s Unlimited is a monthly, or semi-monthly, newsletter of various articles, funnies, tidbits and opinions relating to our children and chiropractic.  My opinions will always be in red and italicized.  Please feel free to share the appropriate articles with patients, friends, and other chiropractors.  I never buy any lists or put names on my email list unless the names were submitted to me directly.  If you wish to be removed from my list, just reply with the word “remove” in the subject line. 

 Thank you… Together we will make a difference.  

Yours in Chiropractic, Armand Rossi

I don’t have a particular message to share with you this month, except that I would like to thank you for being a part of our newsletter, and for passing on the message of chiropractic to all your patients, friends and colleagues.  We now reach over 3200 addresses with our newsletter in over 15 countries. My goal has always been to make sure that chiropractic is available to everyone on this planet.  Thank you for being a part of that goal. I hope to see you all at the Pediatric Extravaganza/New Beginnings in N.J. on April 29th - May 2nd.

 Headlines of the Los Angeles Times Newspaper read, "Government Will NOT Warn Physicians or Parents of Mercury in Flu vaccines"

Read on!  Please pass this on to your loved ones!


Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices


     An advisory group to the federal government is considering recommending that all Americans receive annual flu vaccinations, a step that would result in the largest vaccination enterprise in United States history. The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) is a group of people in the background of the Center for Disease Control (CDC) making recommendations on what federal health policy should be at the CDC. Staffers of both the FDA and the CDC are known for their close
financial and working ties with the pharmaceutical people and conflict of interest is a real problem in both of these agencies, a problem being raised in congressional hearings but one getting regularly swept under the carpet.

        The Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices is something else again for they represent the very heart and soul of pharmaceutical companies. They are every parent`s worst nightmare and there are no polite words to describe their true intentions though some like Doctor John Martin, a scientist well familiar with the inner circles at the FDA and the CDC says, "My reaction to the     members of the ACIP that I have met personally is that they first avoid any criticism of their own
actions. Second, they work towards the interest of vaccine manufacturers in the sincere belief that     vaccines are good."

        It is not in the financial interests of the pharmaceutical industry to prevent common diseases because the maintenance and expansion of diseases is a prerequisite for the financial health of this industry. It does not take a full medical education to understand that these people are not interested in the public`s health. The pharmaceutical industry is an investment industry driven by profits so improving human health is not the driving motivating force of these people. The same investment groups that control the global petrochemical and chemical industries strategically developed the pharmaceutical investment industry over an entire century. They are poised for a massive assault on everyone`s body including that of your children for they would add another shot to be received each year, starting for babies of six months of age.

        The implications are staggering. This news is not surprising, though, because "It`s a direction toward which the ACIP has been moving in the past few years in terms of broadening its recommendations for who should get vaccinated," says Keiji Fukuda, an epidemiologist at the CDC in Atlanta. Best-selling author John Le Carré stated, "Big Pharma [the industry in general] is engaged in the deliberate seduction of the medical profession, country by country, worldwide. It is spending a fortune on influencing, hiring and purchasing academic judgment to a point where, in a few years` time, if Big Pharma continues unchecked on its present happy path, un-bought medical opinion will be hard to find." The ACIP succeeded in getting the Hepatitis B vaccine on the universal list demonstrating this seduction by adding a highly     dangerous `unnecessary` vaccine administered starting from the first day of life. Now they want to add another one in an even more universal vaccination campaign.

        For several years now newspapers around the world have threatened the public with graphic accounts of a flu plague that was destined to kill. A perfect example of the hysteria that has been deliberately introduced in the public`s mind appeared in The Sunday Mirror in England back in September of 1997: "MILLIONS AT RISK FROM KILLER FLU - Doctors are preparing for a massive outbreak of killer flu this winter. Millions of people are expected to die worldwide as a new strain of super-bug sweeps the globe." In reality there was no flu pandemic anywhere. But the lack of any flu plague across the globe in 97 did not bring a halt to those `killer flu` front-page specials and we were again treated with such a menu at the end of   2003, again with the same results.

        The winters of 1998, 99, 2000, 01, 02, 03, saw the same, tired old headlines appearing in the press driving the public and herding them with fear into clinics to get their desperately needed flu shots. It does not take a lot of imagination to recognize this all as a long-term strategy leading up to the present recommendation by the ACIP to make flu vaccines universal and mandatory.

    Our children face the possibility of death or serious long term adverse effects from mandated vaccines that aren`t necessary or that have very limited benefits.

          Jane M. Orient, M.D
 Association of American Physicians and Surgeons

 The 1.55 trillion-dollar health industry has Americans sick and suffering more than ever before. Not satisfied with their tremendous profits, the pharmaceutical makers want a vaccine program that targets everybody in the country to get vaccinated annually. At the same time, there is no mention of the accumulative side effects that such repeated shots would implicate. A flu vaccine program would require yearly inoculations due to the constantly changing strains of the disease. Advocates tell the public that such a program would reduce incidence of the disease and, quite possible, reduce fatalities. Saving lives is the ultimate selling point for the vaccine industry. Still, they hide the formation clearly indicating how many people they are actually killing with their shots and how many more get injured.

        "While the drug companies would like us to believe that these deaths are the unfortunate side effects of a careful and caring industry, they are actually the direct result of the ways in which pharmaceuticals manipulate drug trials and skew research data to produce the positive efficacy and safety results they need to bring new products to market," says Lynne Born health care activist, writer and independent medical researcher. Barbara Loe Fisher, president of the National Vaccination Information Center suggests extreme caution when moving toward the universal application of flu vaccines to all citizens because once instituted it will be very difficult for most Americans to avoid them.

        "I think it is something that is going to happen, and I think it`s something that is called for," says Len Novick, executive director of the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases (NFID). The Bethesda, Md., coalition represents private and public healthcare groups and industries, including drug manufacturers. The movement toward universal vaccination programs pumping toxic chemicals and biological compounds unnecessarily into the blood streams of the unsuspecting population serves only to pad the pockets of the pharmaceutical companies and their supporting groups that dictate and recommend public health policies all in the name of `good`. Novick
thinks it`s good but there are doctors who claim that five consecutive flu shots will increase a persons chances of contracting Alzheimer`s disease by a factor of ten because of the yearly build up of mercury that is contained in some flu vaccines.

        The marketplace for the Pharmaceutical Giants is the ever-trusting public that believe that any recommendations handed downthrough the medical system are reliable and must be `for our own good`. Agencies such as the NFID and The Advisory Committee on Immunization are continuously looking for new applications for the use of existing drugs and vaccines already on the market, as well as the creation of new designer drugs that earn them billions. The Advisory Committee on Immunization sits at the very center of a drug cartel that operates in every nation and they zealously guard the sanctity of vaccines so as not to cast serious doubt on modern medicine as a whole. To do so would destroy the empire that they have so carefully structured and the image of allopathic medicine would forever be shattered.

        Many people today believe that the integrity of the medical cartel, at the highest level is suspect and serves to harm, weaken and ultimately destroy the very people it claims to protect. To weaken the immune system and interfere with the brain`s ability to function optimally serves only to strengthen the ever-growing health monopoly and their financial profits. The handwriting is already on the wall. If the forces opposed to the medical cartel do not form an alliance, we will see vastly increased use of vaccines and increasing penalties for those who seek to avoid them. This is a    critical moment in medical history with implications for the whole human race.

    "Thiomersal has no place in medicine. It should be banned for use in humans," says Dr Mark Geier. "These are our children."

        The Advisory Committee on Immunization is one of the most dangerous, untrustworthy and all-powerful institutions of this century and they commonly ignore fine physicians like Dr. Geier. If they are unable to come clean about the catastrophic mercury problem in vaccines, which the flu vaccine does contain, what can we really say about this organization? You will get parallel organizations like The Department of Health pointing out that reviews by the Committee on the Safety of Medicines found no evidence of low doses of thiomersal impacting on childhood development and then drop into the intellectual medical gutter with statements like, "Thiomersal has been used in vaccines for over 60 years. It has played an important role in maintaining the safety of vaccines."

    There is no evidence that any influenza vaccine thus far developed is effective in preventing or mitigating any attack of influenza. The producers of these vaccines know that they are worthless, but they go on selling them, anyway.

          Dr. J. Anthony Morris

 Former Chief Vaccine Control Officer FDA.

        Fukuda from the CDC comments that universal flu vaccines could be up for a vote before the Center of Disease Control in October 2005 with its earliest use as a standard coming in 2006. This translates into about nearly 300 million doses a year, one for every man, women and child in the United States. Who knows, soon it might be against the law to get the flu, unless of course you are already vaccinated against it. The entire discussion about the flu and a mass vaccination against it is
actually ridiculous for the same thing caught in July is called a bad cold. We must remember though that billions of dollars are involved so the chances are the powers that be will have their way. That is unless we can have a medical revolution happen before 2006. If not the last thing I would want is  to be an American in 2006.

    Mark Sircus Ac., OMD

 

 

FDA Public Health Advisory

March 22, 2004

Subject: WORSENING DEPRESSION AND SUICIDALITY IN PATIENTS BEING TREATED WITH ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDICATIONS

Today the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) asked manufacturers of the following antidepressant drugs to include in their labeling a Warning statement that recommends close observation of adult and pediatric patients treated with these agents for worsening depression or the emergence of suicidality. The drugs that are the focus of this new Warning are: Prozac (fluoxetine); Zoloft (sertraline); Paxil (paroxetine); Luvox (fluvoxamine); Celexa (citalopram); Lexapro (escitalopram); Wellbutrin (bupropion); Effexor (venlafaxine); Serzone (nefazodone); and Remeron (mirtazapine).

Warning Information

*    Health care providers should carefully monitor patients receiving antidepressants for possible worsening of depression or suicidality, especially at the beginning of therapy or when the dose either increases or decreases. Although FDA has not concluded that these drugs cause worsening depression or suicidality, health care providers should be aware that worsening of symptoms could be due to the underlying disease or might be a result of drug therapy.

*    Heath care providers should carefully evaluate patients in whom depression persistently worsens, or emergent suicidality is severe, abrupt in onset, or was not part of the presenting symptoms, to determine what intervention, including discontinuing or modifying the current drug therapy, is indicated.

*    Anxiety, agitation, panic attacks, insomnia, irritability,hostility, impulsivity, akathisia (severe restlessness), hypomania, and mania have been reported in adult and pediatric patients being treated with antidepressants for major depressive disorder as well as for other indications, both psychiatric and nonpsychiatric. Although FDA has not concluded that these symptoms are a precursor to either worsening of depression or the emergence of suicidal impulses, there is concern that patients who experience one or more of these symptoms may be at increased risk for worsening depression or suicidality. Therefore, therapy should be evaluated, and medications may need to be discontinued, when symptoms are severe, abrupt in onset, or were not part of the patient`s presenting symptoms.

*    If a decision is made to discontinue treatment, certain of these medications should be tapered rather than stopped abruptly (see labeling for individual drug products for details).

*    Because antidepressants are believed to have the potential for inducing manic episodes in patients with bipolar disorder, there is a concern about using antidepressants alone in this population. Therefore, patients should be adequately screened to determine if they are at risk for bipolar disorder before initiating antidepressant treatment so that they can be appropriately monitored during treatment. Such screening should include a detailed psychiatric history, including a family
history of suicide, bipolar disorder, and depression.

*    Health care providers should instruct patients, their families and their caregivers to be alert for the emergence of agitation, irritability, and the other symptoms described above, as well as the emergence of suicidality and worsening depression, and to report such symptoms immediately to their health care provider.



 A ship in a safe harbor is safe, but that is not what a ship is built for. -  -William Shedd

 

 

A Letter from Martha Collins to her patients:

By Dr. Martha Collins

 

 

Freedom and Justice for All?

      To be truthful, the reason you haven`t received a Lifeline for so long is because I`ve been so angry and ashamed of my profession that I couldn`t put words to paper.  For if I write to you what I wanted to write to you, I could lose my licence to adjust you and take care of your family.  On February 10th in a closed meeting, it was decided by a very small, ill-informed group of people that Chiropractors in the Province of Ontario cannot discuss the questions you may have about your health and your family`s health with regards to vaccines.  We will not be allowed to pass the following information on to you: published research articles in peer-reviewed journals like the New England Journal of Medicine, the Journal of the American Medical Association, The Lancet, The British Medical Journal and the like; articles that you can read yourself in the newspaper; information obtained on the internet and any clinical findings we may have.

      We`re not quite sure who is behind this directive, but if you follow the "money trail", you can guess that it is probably the multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry.  The concern that I have with regards to your health is that quite often, you are not given the opportunity to make an informed decision about medications including vaccines.  You are told that there are no risks, but you are not told of the ingredients that are present in vaccines.  For example, the Hepatitis B vaccine and the flu vaccine in Ontario contain thimerosal (mercury) and this has been linked to an increased risk of autism. 

      I`m also concerned that the next concession our profession will make to the drug industry is that they will also "gag" our ability to talk to you about the medications that you may be taking that carry a serious health risk.  Just last week, we had two people come to the office who were taking multiple prescriptions (one was taking five different drugs, one was taking six).  In both cases, they were taking medications that interacted with one another and were contraindicated to be prescribed together.  In both cases, the health concerns these people presented with were as a direct result of the side-effects of these medications.  It doesn`t take a rocket-scientist to realize that you can receive adjustments but they will not be effective with the chemical stress in the nervous system caused by these interactions. 

      In addition, the television advertisements for over-the-counter medications do not ever discuss the risks and side-effects, but you also know that they exist.  (Speaking of television, how accurate is the health information you are receiving anyway?  With the drug industry sponsoring the evening news, you can bet you`re not getting the whole story.)  Also, who ever is behind this vote to stop us from answering your questions also had the audacity to play a tape of the biased, Chiropractic-bashing Marketplace program to sway the vote in their favour. 

      As your Chiropractor, your health and well-being is of utmost importance.  I truly feel that I have a moral obligation to present to you the best, most up-to-date information so that you can make an informed decision.  The issue here is informed consent and freedom of speech.  I even went onto the Government of Canada website to check the Charter of Rights and Freedoms to see if freedom of speech had been removed.  It hadn`t--it is still guaranteed in the Canadian Constitution.

      Please remember that it took me two months to write this newsletter.  It is very difficult for me to write when my heart is broken.  This whole experience only reminds me that health care no longer comes from the heart, but from the bottom line.  As I stand in my office I feel the foundations of my profession have been weakened to the degree that we have let our predecessors down as well as the millions of people that utilize Chiropractic care and have used Chiropractic over the last 109 years.  But have no worries, we still stand on our predecessors broad shoulders and we will be the broad shoulders for the next generation of Chiropractors coming after us so that your children and your grandchildren will have freedom of choice in health care. 

      The final vote on this matter will be held April 16th at the College of Chiropractors of Ontario office.  If you wish to voice your concerns about your freedom to obtain informed consent, please send them a letter or email at the following addresses:

 

College of Chiropractors of Ontario                                   Chiropractic Awareness Council

902-130 Bloor Street West                                                   595 Woolwich Street

Toronto, Ontario  M5S 1N5                                                 Guelph, Ontario N1H 3Y5

Fax #: (416) 925-9610  Email: cco.info@cco.on.ca             Fax #: (519) 822-1239  Email: totalhealth@cac4life.com

    

Until next time, we`ll stand for the truth on your behalf, Love,

Martha and Carl, Anne, April, Hellen, Jane and Oscar 

The College of Chiropractors of Ontario (CCO) is attempting to make Chiropractors second class citizens.  They are attempting to pass a policy that states that Chiropractors may not express views about immunizations/vaccinations.  This is more than a vaccine issue; this is a human rights issue. 

The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms states under the heading FUNDAMENTAL FREEDOMS – A FREEDOM OF THOUGHT, BELIEF, OPINION AND EXPRESSION, INCLUDING FREEDOM OF THE PRESS AND OTHER MEDIA OF COMMUNICATION.  This gag order clearly violates this fundamental right.  The punishment for this is a fine of up to $25,000 or imprisonment for up to 6 months, or both.

 
Please copy and paste the letter below and add any comments you wish, put your name and address on it and email it to the cco.info@cco.on.ca

 
The CCO is voting on this issue on APRIL 16TH, PLEASE SEND IT BY THE 15TH.  This will only take a few minutes of your time and will make a HUGE difference.

 
Also, this is not just a fight for Ontario Chiropractors, fundamental human rights are an issue for everyone – we need a united front from everyone around the world.

Thank you for your commitment!  You can copy me if you like dr.jenn@on.aibn.com

 
If you have already signed this letter sign it again, the more e-mails the CCO receives the better.
 
******************************

College of Chiropractors of Ontario
130 Bloor St. West, Suite 902
Toronto, Ontario
M5S 1N5

To The CCO:

RE: Chiropractors rights to discuss Immunization/Vaccination

It has come to my attention that Chiropractors in Ontario are currently being asked whether or not they would like to hold on to their rights to professionally speak freely about immunization/vaccination.

I believe Chiropractors have less of a vested interest in speaking around the research of immunization than the medical profession including doctors, nurses and health officials too.

It is very important to me that information about safety and efficacy be openly discussed amongst all primary health care providers freely and without restraint.  I contend that the public will not receive "balanced and accurate" information if freedom of health speech falls short in a free market economy. 

As a member of the public I insist that my right to information on vaccines from many sources be protected and that Chiropractors as primary care providers maintain the right to discuss vaccine concerns along with many other wellness based concerns in the areas of nutrition, exercise and posture safety.  It is time for public citizens to be guided toward more thoughtful and informed decisions, not away from them.

Respectfully,
[your name]

 

Broken Ground

 

Health Sciences Institute e-Alert

 

March 11, 2004

 

Dear Reader,

 

Revolutionary. Groundbreaking. A landmark.

 

Those were some of the reverent terms that TV network news anchors used as they gushed like smitten schoolgirls over a new study of cholesterol-lowering statin drugs this week. And virtually all of them treated the "miracle drug" status of statins as a given. What`s more, the general consensus from anchors and their "medical expert" sidekicks was that "super doses" of statins are now preferred over low or moderate dosage.

 

Here`s what this study really is: A revolutionary and groundbreaking landmark for those who make their living selling statins. Because statin drugs now seem to have become the drugs that sell themselves with the help of fawning mainstream commentators who "report" that 11 million Americans are currently taking statins, but "36 million should be."

 

Should be? Thanks, but no thanks, guys. Please count me and millions of others out of the "should be" group.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

The basics

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Here`s a quick outline of the statin study that was posted on the New England Journal of Medicine web site this week.

(The study will be published next month.)

 

Researchers at Harvard Medical School tested two different statin dosages on a group of 4,162 patients who had been hospitalized for an acute coronary syndrome. All subjects began taking their drugs within 10 days of being discharged from the hospital, and their medical records were then followed for an average of two years. Half the group received a daily 40 mg dose of pravastatin (brand name: Pravachol), and half received 80 mg per day of atorvastatin  (brand name: Lipitor).

 

The Harvard team specifically monitored occurrences of death due to stroke, heart attack, bypass surgery and other cardiovascular events. Results showed that the death rate in the Lipitor group was 28 percent lower than the Pravachol group. Furthermore, LDL cholesterol was lowered to an average of 62 in the Lipitor group, but only to 95 in the Pravachol group.

 

This 95 level would be considered just fine among those in mainstream medicine who insist that everyone should aim for an LDL of 100 or lower. But because the Lipitor group average dropped a full 33 points more than the Pravachol, and because the death rate was significantly lower in the Lipitor group, the pro-statin forces crowed with glee as if this study were the last word on the subject. If these folks had their way, the book on statins would now be closed and virtually everyone over the age of 45 would start taking daily super doses of Lipitor immediately.

 

No doubt, the results are impressive. As long as you overlook certain details.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

The up shift

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Critics of the study point to a number of obvious drawbacks. As we`ve known for some time now, statin drugs carry along some unpleasant side effects, ranging from muscle aches to liver damage. In this particular study, one third of the subjects in the Pravachol group dropped out due to an adverse event or a patient`s decision to stop taking the drug, and more than 30 percent in the Lipitor group dropped out for the same reasons.

 

Also, for a drug that`s intended to be taken for the remainder of a patient`s life, two years is not nearly long enough to fully understand the extent of side effects (especially at the higher dosage) or the comparison of the death rates associated with the two drugs.

 

In addition, there was no control group! In a true clinical study it`s customary to include a group of subjects who receive no therapy or a placebo - or even (heaven forbid) a natural therapy - in order to put the effects of the drugs (both good and bad) into perspective. Without a control group, we don`t know if the outcomes are really as dramatic as they`re being made out to be.

 

So this trial is not the end-all and be-all that the mainstream wants us to believe it is. But the fact that it`s been interpreted that way will encourage many doctors to prescribe the drug even more aggressively and at higher doses. The study`s lead author, Dr. Christopher P. Cannon, told the New York Times that, "Everyone needs to shift up one level in their intensity of cholesterol treatment."

 

And if they do, healthcare costs - already rising at an alarming rate - will go through the roof. According to Reuters Health, a typical starting dose of Lipitor runs about $900 per year. If everyone "shifts up one level" to 80 mg, they`ll spend an additional $500 yearly. And that`s for the rest of their lives.

 

The bean counters at Pfizer (Lipitor`s maker) will have to start working nights and weekends if 36 million Americans do as they`re advised and start taking 80 mg of Lipitor every day.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

A major miscalculation 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

This study has one more unique wrinkle. It was sponsored by a drug company. Now, knowing that, you might reasonably jump to the conclusion that it was sponsored by Pfizer. After all, the cards seem to have been significantly stacked against Pravachol. But in fact, the study was sponsored by Bristol-Myers Squibb (BMS), Pravachol`s maker.

 

Experts in the field speculate that BMS executives apparently had good reason to believe that, even at the different dosages, Pravachol would produce better results than Lipitor. Needless to say, whatever the strategy might have been, it seems to have backfired.

 

Dr. Andrew G. Bodnar is a senior vice president for strategy and medical and external affairs for BMS. In what we can only imagine was a shell-shocked state, Dr. Bodnar told the New York Times that his company was surprised. But given the outcome, Dr. Bodnar gladly offered some information about an important safety issue. He told the Times that liver enzymes were elevated in 3.3 percent of the Lipitor group, but only in 1.1 percent of the Pravachol group. And he noted that when Liver enzyme levels rise, patients must be advised to stop taking the drug or reduce the dose.

 

So again, the length of the study is a major factor. Given that over a period of many years we simply don`t know what percentage of patients will experience dangerous liver enzyme levels, the unconditional thumbs-up that the media gave the concept of statin "super doses" was "super premature," to say the least.

 

Actual Headlines:

 Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

  Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

 Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

  Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

 Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

 Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

 Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

 Miners Refuse to Work after Death

 Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

  War Dims Hope for Peace

  If Strike Isn`t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

  Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

  Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

   Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

   Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

 Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

   Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

    Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

   Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

   And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

The following are different answers given by school-age children to the given question:

 

 Why did God make mothers

1-She`s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.-Think about it, it was the best way to get more people.

3.-Mostly to clean the house.

4.-To help us out of there when we were getting born.

 

How did God make mothers?

1.- He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2.- Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3.- God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

 

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1.- We`re related.

2.- God knew she likes me a lot more than other people`s moms like me

 

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1- God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2.-They had to get their start from men`s bones. Then they mostly use string. I think.

 

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1.- My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.- I don`t know because I wasn`t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3.- They say she used to be nice.

 

How did your mom meet your dad?

1.- Mom was working in a store and dad was shoplifting.

 

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1.- His last name.

2.- She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores.

 

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1.- My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2.- She got too old to do anything else with him.

3.- My grandma says that mom didn`t have her thinking cap on.

 

What makes a real woman?

1.- It means you have to be really bossy without looking bossy.

 

Who`s the boss at your house?

1.- Mom doesn`t want to be boss, but she has to because dad`s such a goofball.

2.- Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3.- I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

 

What`s the difference between moms and dads?

1.- Moms work at work and work at home, and dads just go to work at work.

2.- Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3.- Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power cause that`s who you gotta ask if you want to sleep over at your friend`s.

 

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1.- Mothers don`t do spare time.

2.-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

 

What`s the difference between moms and grandmas?

1.- About 30 years.

2.- You can always count on grandmothers for candy. Sometimes moms don`t even have bread on them!

 

Describe the world`s greatest mom?

1.- She would make broccoli taste like ice cream!

2 She`d always be smiling and keep her opinions to herself.

 

Is anything about your mom perfect?

1.- Her teeth are perfect, but she bought them from the dentist.

2.- Her casserole recipes. But we hate them.

3.- Just her children

 

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1.- On the inside she`s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2.- Diet. You know, her hair. I`d dye-it, maybe blue.

 

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1.- She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I`d get rid of that.

2.- I`d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.

 

 

 

Alert to Men 

 

Police are warning all men, but particularly English men, Irish men, German men, Italian men and Scottish men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman. Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large "kegs." Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something had occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life`s savings, in a familiar scam known as "a relationship." It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "marriage." Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females. If you fall victim to this insidious scheme by predatory women, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

 

Here are a list of my upcoming talks and seminars.  Please note that these may change.

April 17 - 18, 2004          San Francisco, Ca.    ICPA certification – Intro. to Chiropractic for the Family

April 24 -25, 2004            Boston, Ma.            ICPA certification – Intro. to Chiropractic for the Family

April 29 - May 2, 2004    Long Branch, N.J.      Pediatric Extravaganza/New Beginnings

June 4 - 6, 2004              St. Pete. Fl.                   Florida Chiropractic Society Convention

June 12, 2004                  Marietta, Ga.                 Life University - Commencement

July 10 - 11, 2004            Northern Virginia        ICPA certification – Intro. to Chiropractic for the Family

July 17 - 18, 2004         Spartenburg, S.C.      ICPA certification – Intro. to Chiropractic for the Family

July 22 - 25, 2004           Marietta, Ga.                  Life University - Homecoming

August 7 – 8, 2004         E. Stroudsburg, Pa.      Introduction to Chiropractic for the Family

August 20 - 22, 2004       Palm Beach, Fl.           Florida Chiropractic Society Convention

August 28 - 29, 2004        Pittsburgh, Pa.            Introduction to Chiropractic for the Family

November 6 – 7, 2004       Atlanta, Ga.    ICPA certification – Introduction to Chiropractic for the Family

 

This newsletter does not replace pure, principled, unadulterated chiropractic care!!!